UPWARD THRUST

Chronicling nocturnal emissions since 2011

FAP

Almost there… Almost there…

(said the X-wing pilot while looking to fire away into a tiny duct)

Frequently Abused Prepositions

1. Hung jury or split?

Hung. (In other words, ♂.)

2. How old are you?

Old. Go ask your parents. Chances are, I’m close to their age.

2. Do you have any pics?

I am seldom seen, and definitely not on here.

3. Can I contact you off Tumblr?

Gmail: upwardthrust

Kik: upwardthrust

Yahoo Messenger: upwardthrust

Skype: upwardthrust (I have no camera, just two turntables and a microphone)

4. Where do you live?

In a van, down by the river.

5. Are you taken?

Yes. However, she keeps me on a long leash. I’ll never be coming over to your place, but she doesn’t mind me talking to you. In fact, she says she could use the break from my relentless libido.

6. Will she ever join you on here?

Not likely. She finds my taste in porn to be too tame (I’m not even joking) and is more photophobic than I am. Twitter is her medium of choice.

7. Where is Megan (of the how-to-squirt instructional video)?

I don’t know. Hanging with Waldo, perhaps? Try Fet Life.

That’s all for now.

If you actually read this all the way through, send me a message with the word “wombat”. ;)